i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
