Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
