You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
In America we eat man semen.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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