Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
This baby is an asshole
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
