Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
this hospital has no fireball
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
