If i come over, it means nothing
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
