Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
