brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
