Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
