Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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