On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
