Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
