My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
