I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Someone stole a lamp last night.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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