weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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