Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Walk of Shame today included voting.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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