? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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