shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
