My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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