So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
