when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
