Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
