Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
