It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
