1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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