I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
