Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
