i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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