No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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