she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
