Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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