I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
