Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
