He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
