So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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