is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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