can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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