Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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