i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
