either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
