If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
