what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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