well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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