i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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