she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
