i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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