can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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