Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
