im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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