"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
