my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
