Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
